I finished yet another journal today. A hand written one, not an online blog. I've kept journals since I was at least 7 years old. Possibly a year or two older, but I started young. I still have all my journals too. I've always loved to write. Journals are a wonderful way to get things out that you'd still like to keep private, to detail what you want to remember when your memories fade, fantasies that will never happen, secret hopes and dreams. It can be your best friend at times.
I think this is the shortest time period for any of my journals. What I mean is, usually I start one and I don't finish it until a year later, because I don't have that much to say, to record or I forget to write in it. This one didn't last very long at all. I started it on October 12, 2010. Ended it today. July 13th, 2011. Most of it, not surprisingly, is about Lee and I. But paging through it, I came across some of the goals I had made for 2011, which were:
*Be more positive. See the good, not the bad in situations & people.
*Think before I speak. Especially online, when I have no reason to ever speak quickly and out of turn. Step away and cool down when angry.
*Actually, thats my 3rd pledge - anywhere, in any situation, step away and cool down when angry. Don't stay in the discussion/situation.
*Be ready, able and willing to help friends and family when they need it. Always offer a hand or an ear.
*Have more compassion, empathy, sympathy and understanding. Try to put myself in other people's shoes before casting stones.
...I think so far I've failed to reach most of those! But maybe I just needed to re-read them as a refresher, to make the rest of this year good.
Aside from the majority of this journal being about Lee, it also included the SHIMVegas trip. Which took up 45 pages in my journal.
45 PAGES. I documented everything. And I mean everything. I document everything so when I get older, I can look back and relive things or tell my children or grandchildren about my life. Or possibly write a book when I become famous. (Because I'm totally going to be famous. True story. {C/W Mia Svensson})
It's easy to write about the things you love, and thats what it mostly is. Thoughts and musings about the future, about the person I love, things like that. Emotion fuels a lot of what I write. Passion. And the desire to document history as it happens. This journal also contains the death of Osama bin Laden; the marriage of the future King of England, Prince William; the death of Macho Man Randy Savage.
It also contains the passing of my most constant companion, my cat Spike. <3
I love keeping journals. I only let the closest people see what I write therein. Despite all the public things I keep (this blog, twitter, facebook), there are a few things I keep private. The innermost workings of my heart and soul. Seeing my journal indicates trust of the highest order. Which is why very few have ever seen any of my journals.
I dunno, I just found it interesting that this journal has the shortest time period of all my journals so far. Which led me into thinking why I love writing so much. The written/typed word is how I've always best expressed myself. Hopefully that will never change.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
The Five Love Languages
I love to read. I've been a reader all my life, from when I was young up through now. Every once in awhile I've come across a book that I can honestly say changed my life. I'm almost done with one of those types of books. It's called "The Five Love Languages for Singles" by Gary Chapman(obviously I'm not single, but the book is made for folks who are either single or in dating relationships).
In separate chapters it tells you what the five love languages are and gives details on how each works. They are:
*Physical Touch
*Words of Affirmation
*Quality Time
*Gifts
*Acts of Service
The website gives you the same 'quiz' the book has to determine which love language is your primary one. All of us can speak each language, but all of us have a primary that, when someone speaks that language, we feel most loved. Not to say that we don't feel loved when our partner speaks the others, but all of us have a nature to feel love in a primary way.
Upon taking the quiz, my primary is Physical Touch, followed closely by Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service. Which makes perfect sense. I've always been, deep down inside, a "touchy-feely person." I like to hold hands, cuddle, by near people I feel close with. When I feel sympathy for a person, if I'm close enough to do so, I give them a hug. Its how I show love and how I feel most loved.
When it comes to Gifts, most people think automatically that this is a selfish thing. The book does a way better job of explaining it, but basically, gifts are a way that people have always shown love. It doesn't mean you have to go out and buy the most expensive thing there is. It's the sentiment behind it that makes the gift valuable. A gift is a tangible object that says, "I was thinking about you. I wanted you to have this. I love you." It can be a flower picked from a park, a piece of paper made into a card - not necessarily something bought from a store. Like when a child picks a dandilion from a field to give to their mom. She puts it in a cup of water and keeps it because thats a gift that says "I love you."
One of my most treasured gifts is a small Hello Kitty plush doll that Lee got me. She didn't cost much, but ever since I received her, I never go to sleep without her. I take her to work with me, and I've given her a name. She is a tangible reminder of his love for me. Gifts have always been a main way I show love (you can ask my family - first Christmas after I had a steady job, I went overboard with gifts because I finally had a way to express my love for them). I realise a lot of people aren't comfortable with this, but its probably because (according to the book) they aren't used to receiving love in that way. When I've realised this about people, I try to find out what their primary love language is and speak it.
For a long time, I thought the pleasure I received from getting gifts was because I was selfish. However, after reading this, I know that isn't the case. It's one of my primary love languages. It's the second strongest way I show and feel love. Now I feel I can embrace this without feeling like it's a negative aspect of myself.
Really, I would recommend this book for anyone. There's chapters in there on how to find out others primary love language & how to speak it; how to use this in your relationship with your significant other, your parents, siblings, co-workers, friends - everyone in your life. I'm taking what I read and applying it in my life. In turn, this will help me be a better girlfriend, friend, daughter, co-worker, sibling, etc. I can't recommend it enough, get a copy for yourself if you want to improve your life and relationships!
In separate chapters it tells you what the five love languages are and gives details on how each works. They are:
*Physical Touch
*Words of Affirmation
*Quality Time
*Gifts
*Acts of Service
The website gives you the same 'quiz' the book has to determine which love language is your primary one. All of us can speak each language, but all of us have a primary that, when someone speaks that language, we feel most loved. Not to say that we don't feel loved when our partner speaks the others, but all of us have a nature to feel love in a primary way.
Upon taking the quiz, my primary is Physical Touch, followed closely by Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service. Which makes perfect sense. I've always been, deep down inside, a "touchy-feely person." I like to hold hands, cuddle, by near people I feel close with. When I feel sympathy for a person, if I'm close enough to do so, I give them a hug. Its how I show love and how I feel most loved.
When it comes to Gifts, most people think automatically that this is a selfish thing. The book does a way better job of explaining it, but basically, gifts are a way that people have always shown love. It doesn't mean you have to go out and buy the most expensive thing there is. It's the sentiment behind it that makes the gift valuable. A gift is a tangible object that says, "I was thinking about you. I wanted you to have this. I love you." It can be a flower picked from a park, a piece of paper made into a card - not necessarily something bought from a store. Like when a child picks a dandilion from a field to give to their mom. She puts it in a cup of water and keeps it because thats a gift that says "I love you."
One of my most treasured gifts is a small Hello Kitty plush doll that Lee got me. She didn't cost much, but ever since I received her, I never go to sleep without her. I take her to work with me, and I've given her a name. She is a tangible reminder of his love for me. Gifts have always been a main way I show love (you can ask my family - first Christmas after I had a steady job, I went overboard with gifts because I finally had a way to express my love for them). I realise a lot of people aren't comfortable with this, but its probably because (according to the book) they aren't used to receiving love in that way. When I've realised this about people, I try to find out what their primary love language is and speak it.
For a long time, I thought the pleasure I received from getting gifts was because I was selfish. However, after reading this, I know that isn't the case. It's one of my primary love languages. It's the second strongest way I show and feel love. Now I feel I can embrace this without feeling like it's a negative aspect of myself.
Really, I would recommend this book for anyone. There's chapters in there on how to find out others primary love language & how to speak it; how to use this in your relationship with your significant other, your parents, siblings, co-workers, friends - everyone in your life. I'm taking what I read and applying it in my life. In turn, this will help me be a better girlfriend, friend, daughter, co-worker, sibling, etc. I can't recommend it enough, get a copy for yourself if you want to improve your life and relationships!
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