2010 - A Year in Review

It's three days until Christmas, and being that I'm at work and it's slowed down a bit, I thought I'd take a few minutes and review the year I've had.

It's certainly been a defining one for me. January saw the biggest change I'd had in seven years - I was fired from my job as a medical records clerk/receptionist at Medical Center Cardiologists.

In all fairness though, it was coming. Ever since the company had been bought by Jewish Hospital (one of the biggest hospitals in Louisville), there'd been several changes, several staffing changes and not all of them for the better. As a direct consequence, the position I had been a receptionist at since 2005, receptionist for the MCC testing facility, was eliminated because they simply took the equipment and moved it to a JH facility and shut ours down. To their credit, the powers that were still in power at MCC found me a position in the same building, just up on a different floor, working medical records/reception in the actual doctor's office. However, from 2002 to 2005, I'd worked medical records at the downtown office, and let me tell you, it's a thankless job. No matter how much you accomplish, you never have it completely done. There's always charts to file, papers to file or records to obtain.

The women in that office took me under their wings and really helped make the transfer smoother than it could've been. And to be fair, I had fun working up there from 2007 to January of this year. I was the Duck Lady of the building still, one year Britney trussed me up as a Princess, and I even fell in the pond trying to rescue a goose egg (don't ask). So I did have fun.

But, being out in one of the "ritzier" areas of town, we had our share of spoiled rotten patients. Some were very sweet - but most were sour and sometimes downright bitter. You couldn't please them, and more often than not, I got cussed at and I witnessed sexual harassment from patients towards employees. And most of the cussing came from the senior doctor of the practice. No matter how much you complained, he never changed. Which is a shame, because he could be really damn funny and he's incredibly smart - we often discussed history and the archological trips he'd made to Italy. But I never knew anyone else in my life that dropped as many "GDs" as he did.

So when I was fired, it was due to my temper getting the better of me, just once, towards...well, she wasn't even a patient, it was her mother that was the patient. But this woman had a history of attitude and hatefulness towards all of us. One gesture though and I'm almost certain it was due to her nagging and threats of prosecution that got me terminated.

To their credit, my parents were loving and supportive. They'd actually noticed a change in me the past few weeks before I was fired. I'd become a lot more tired and "defeated looking" in their words. Which that surprised me, I didn't think my demeanor had changed but it had. In the beginning it was a real weight off my shoulders. They fought my unemployment claim but after having a telephone hearing with my case worker and the human resources person for Jewish Hospital (wherein I detailed the abuse and sexual harassment endured by the staff), the case was decided in my favour, so I had steady income up until August.

Which is when the money in my account ran out and I steadily had to rely on my funds in savings and help from my parents. I hated it. Reeeeeeeeeeally hated having to take money from them. I've kept a list of how much I owe them back.

Aside from winning my unemployment claim, February wasn't anything special. Nor was March. I was on job search but other than a couple of interviews, nothing was biting. I think my spirits were still high at this point.

April brought the first SHIMMER tapings of 2010 and although I didn't attend, it was the reports by Steven on DD that made up my mind. I didn't care if I didn't have a job - I was going to SHIMMER. It was pretty much cemented, even moreso when I found out the next tapings and purchased my tickets. I couldn't get over how cheap it was! I was used to paying $200+ for front row seats to WWE shows. Two front row seats for less than $200. Tremendous.

Around April was also when my addiction to Twitter kicked in. It's strange as I look back, I went from AOL chat rooms to AIM to Livejournal to Facebook to Twitter (and I started this blog as a more serious one than my LJ, due to being challenged by Demond). But not really all that unusual, seeing as I had so much time on my hands. Plus, the idea of interacting with wrestlers was thrilling - and I admit, I have saved almost all the tweets I got in the early months from various wrestlers like Daffney, Melina, Lufisto...Twitter also helped to expand my horizons as far as independent wrestling went.

As my options for female wrestling outside of WWE and TNA expanded, my unwillingness to be satisfied for mediocrity grew. I do still watch, mostly to support the men and women I like, but now that I know what's out there, I can't really go back to being content with the status quo. Especially after September. But I'm digressing far and fast.

May saw my 28th birthday. My parents took me out for my birthday and I got a "yeehaw" from the folks at Logan's Restaurant. Nothing too big as I didn't want anything big done. By June, my failure to find a job was starting to get to me. However, in June, I joined the team at DD as a writer for Xplosion and Superstars, plus joined the audio shows. This really boosted my spirits - I may've had jobs rejecting me, but I had an outlet for my creativity and passion for female wrestling. Plus it brought me into contact with some wonderful people I'm happy and proud to call friends.

July and August - interviews, rejections, and Spike, my beloved kitty, started to show signs of illness. He'd gotten progressively skinny over the year, even though he eats a ton, but throws up more than usual. All signs of what happened to my other kitty, Maggie. But at this point, it wasn't too bad.

September. Ah, beautiful, lovely, life-shaking September. Connections were made, friendships were cemented, and the Best Weekend Ever occurred. SHIMMER Weekend. Pretty much says it all. I spent a ton of cash but it was oh so worth it.

But after that weekend and on into October, my spirits were seriously dragging. My lack of a job and funding was really wearing me down. I had even more of an incentive to get employed now (like a car payment, car insurance and other necessities weren't enough of an incentive before....priorities. I has them.), and I had some really dark moments. But towards the end of the month, I had an interview with the Brook Hospital. Didn't get the job; however, the human resources director, Sean, was extremely nice and offered to call if anything came up.

Something did. The first person chosen for the job turned out to not have the qualifications or the history she claimed she had. Whoops. Her mistake turned out to be my great fortune. I started working second shift, 3pm to 11pm on November 3rd, and this could quite possibly be the best job I've ever had. As long as the phones are answered, the patients taken care of, and anything misc. handled I'm free to watch tv/dvds, read, surf the net - and I heard this straight from my boss! Score~!

Back tracking to October, this year's Halloween saw me in my most daring costume to date - the Evil Witch from Snow White. Shortest costume I've ever worn but I looked frackin' sexy as all get out. I have pictures to prove it. ^_~

October also saw another milestone for me - I got my passport. In two weeks no less! Because ever since September, Lee and I have spent God knows how many hours collectively talking and getting to know each other. And I thought he was joking when he said that he wanted to fly me over to Britain next year. For Valentine's Day no less. No joke, he's even worked weekends, times when he didn't have to, for the extra cash. Floored! So I surprised him by holding off until I got my passport, and took a picture of me with it, to show him. I'm capable of holding other secrets as well as my own bwhaha..

Besides my job, and the SHIMMER trip, meeting and getting to know Lee has been the best part of this year by far. You know that saying, that you'll meet someone when you aren't looking? More truth to it than you'd think. He brings out the best in me. I have confidence, but his boosts my own. He knows a lot of what I think and feel because he's been there, done that for the most part. It's refreshing to find someone that there's no judgment, no matter how much of yourself you share with them - and I've shared parts of myself I haven't with anyone else.

I've also rediscovered parts of myself that I'd long forgotten were there. He's been the catalyst for the growth I've gone through these past several weeks. I find myself feeling more like a woman - as strange as that may sound. It's been abit intimidating...but exhilirating at the same time. It's also rather scary as to how attached I've gotten; I honestly can't imagine him not being in my life now. But even knowing the strength of my attachment, he hasn't shyed away like I thought he might. (Like a lot of guys would, most likely.) Apparently he feels rather strongly himself.

He must, or else he wouldn't be flying me over next year hah.

This all brings me into December. I quit the DD site and made some bad moves concerning folks involved with it - but I don't regret quitting. I regret the way it happened - I hadn't eaten anything for 3 days, I was sick and my moods were out of balance. If I'd had time to think about it, I wouldn't have been so nasty about it. But that's neither here nor there now. Rather, I'm just grateful a few of my strongest friendships have been maintained. Aside from my family, I've always thought of those who are my friends as my rock. Even moreso for the ones I met at Shimmer. They're like extended family to me, I love them so much.

I've been at work for over a month now, and I've gotten a hint as to how hectic and frenzied it can get, but so far I've delt with it nicely. I was even one of several folks who won a Christmas prize - a $50 gift card! Haven't spent it just yet. Everyone's so friendly and helpful. If I screw this job up, I'll deserve to be taken outside and shot. This is too damn good for me to mess up. Plus, because it's second shift, it's more money than I was making before. Which'll be fantastic when I go to a full 5 days a week in January.

All in all, 2010 went from being a shit year to one of the best years I've had in a while. And all in the course of the last four months. Go figure! Life can be really weird sometimes. I'm hoping 2010 will end alright where Spike is concerned, I have an appointment to take him to the vet tomorrow. I forget but he's 15-16 years old...I've had him since I was in the 8th grade. Raised him from a kitten. I really hope that, if he's ill, it'll be something treatable. We'll see.

But to everyone who helped make this year fantastic - thank you! Here's hoping 2011 will be a great year for us all!

Post script: Dr. King thinks Spike has a hyperactive thyroid. Nothing wrong with his kidneys or liver and no diabetes. So he's on some medicine to improve his thyroid. So not as bad as expected fortunately!

Writings

Once upon a time I used to write. A lot. Mostly poetry (being an emo teenager, it's the fashion), but some prose. All of it was in my Junior year creative writing class '98 - '99. I got excellent grades in this class...but I think my teacher worried about me. I'm not sure why.

This piece is from 4/14/99, we had to choose an emotion to write about. Others chose joy, love, happiness. Me? I chose betrayal, heh.


"Betrayal is the emotion that you feel when someone has been unfaithful to you, or has disappointed you in some way, big or small. Someone has deceived, lied, cheated and generally misled you. That's betrayal. It has often been described like a knife that slices through your heart, a chair that's been pulled out from under you, a bucket of water that has been thrown over you. So many other feelings make up and come with this emotion. Hurt, sadness, anger and an overwhelming confusion. You are confused as to why the person has betrayed you. That is the biggest question: why? What reason on earth could bring a person to break another's trust? There are limitless reasons. Money is a common reason; so is love, hate, power, or a cheap laugh. But no reason is ever truly good enough to be unfaithful to someone who trusts you. People such as your spouse, your friend, your partner, your teammate can betray you. Betrayal is a gut-wrenching emotion, and I have felt it by so many, I have resolved never to make anyone else feel it."

Too bad My Chemical Romance wasn't around back then, I'd probably have taken to it like a duck to water. The rest are poems.




9/28/98 - Ice Princess


A single light
in utter darkness.
All around me an alien world.

The Ice Princess
stands firm and proud
Guarding the doorway of my heart.

Inside,
Burning tears
pour forth with wanting, aching need.

Outside
a stone cold face
betrays no haunting dagger-like emotions.

An innocent soul
that knows too much.
To be wild or fly so free.

Bitter Ice Princess
standing inside.
Doomed to remain inside my heart
Protecting it and me
Forever.


This next one's a bit longer, more of a ballad of sorts, except it's not meant to be sung.


10/12/98 - The Lovers

The Lord and his Lady
Danced so sweetly.
Doves flew freely
As the pair were married.

Laughing ever so gaily
Their love shone like a beacon.
He was her Romeo
And she his Juliet.

The Lord and his Lady
Lived in their castle.
The stone walls were built with care
And reinforced with love.

A month passed, then two,
The news spread like wildfire.
The lovers' joy was multiplied,
The Lady was with child.

Their life was a fairy tale
Full of bliss.
But like all fairy tales
It came to an end too soon.

One stormy night
The Lord led his army.
Dark forces
Threatened his lands.

The Lady stood at her window,
Watching her champion leave.
As the tears started to fall,
A breathless prayer went up.

The Lord fought well,
Yearning to be with his beloved.
His sword gleamed
As it sliced through his enemies.

But at last the end
Finally came.
He was victorous and
So marched home proudly.

The castle stood firm
On the grassy hill.
As the Lord drew closer,
A pang hit him.

In his heart he knew
Something was wrong.
Screaming his Lady's name,
He charged into the castle.

He ran and ran
Until he stopped at last.
Within the master bedroom
There she was.

A dagger in her stomach
And one through her heart.
An assassin's work,
A job well done.

Howls, screams, sounds
Came from the Lord's throat.
His wife and child
Lifeless.

Sobbing tears of rage and grief,
He gently removed both daggers.
Quickly his hands plunged
The tools of murder into himself.

With the Lord's last breath
He lays beside her.
Taking his gentle Lady's hand
He dies with her.

The Lord and his Lady
Are dancing so sweetly.
Reunited in death by love,
The Gentle Lady and her Faithful Lord.

There were a few others I wanted to post but I can't find them yet. The main reason I have posted them is because I'm feeling the urge to write. I have to have inspiration, and now that I have it, I wrote something yesterday. I was encouraged to post it here, so what the hell.


Blossom

The seed is planted
Beneath the ground it waits.
For the right time
For the right moment
It patiently waits.

Cold refreshing water seeps in
Nourshing it's core.
Pleasant words soothe
Encouragement warms the heart.

So sudden the breakthrough
That first small stem.
Breaching the ground
Reaching for the sun.

Warm rays prompt growth
The new sprout basks in the glow.
Voices offer hope, inspiration
There is so much left to do,
To become.

Time passes at uncertain speed
Maturity, once so far away, is secured.
The petals unfold
A heady scent fills the air.

The time is right
The moment is now.
She blossoms from girl to woman
Embracing the passion within.

From such a small seed
The Lily has emerged
Strong, tall, confident
Wrapped in love's warm blanket.

She dares to stand, to tread that path
That leads to self discovery.
Alone no longer, afraid no more,
She will seek and find her true essence.