This entry took up 27 pages in my written diary, so God knows how long it'll be on here. I'm going to type from my diary, so I'll try to trim it down as much as possible. But I'll probably gush. You have been warned.
I left home Friday morning September 10th, and made it to the Rodeway Inn around 4:30 or 5:30 central time. I was on my own until Shanti got in around 7 or 8, and we found out Eric and Steven wouldn't be in until later, so we met up with a few friends of Shanti's and had dinner at Michael Anthony's. Good pizza, but I had to make do with an RC instead of a proper Coke. I was really quiet due to the fact I didn't know the guys but they were all friendly. After that, we went back to the hotel and hung out until we knew that Eric and Steven were enroute to the Inn. So we went outside and loitered on the second floor landing until their taxi pulled up. After a few minutes, two of the Brit Squad, Steve and Stew, joined us. Very nice guys, plus, me being me, I heart accents. I don't think it was too long before the taxi pulled up. After Eric & Steven got registered, they walked around the corner and saw us up on the landing. I made a complete fool out of myself by jumping up and down (which, it wouldn't be the last time I made a fool of myself this weekend...) but it was exciting by golly!
They walked up stairs and greeted the guys and hugged us. First thing out of Steven's mouth, "Oh my God Jen, you're so tiny!" That was hilarious and pretty much the concensus from everyone. That I was cute and tiny. +10 to my ego. After some chit chat, Steven wanted to walk to the gas station up the street, so me, Shanti and him walked there while Eric chatted with Stew and Steve. It was a nice night (the weather was perfect, except for Saturday morning when it rained a little, I made the right choice bringing shorts and capri pants) so the walk was enjoyable. When we got back, the Brits went to bed whilst us four gathered in E & S's room (which had a fridge, the lucky bastards! None in our room.) and hung out. I passed out the goodies I'd bought for them, because me being me, I tend to go overboard. I got goodies for them, plus Allison and Amber. I'm like a Greek - I come bearing gifts. (+10 to you if you get the reference.)
I think it was around 3 a.m. when Steven walked us to our room, where we crashed for the night. Tomorrow would be the official start of SHIMMER weekend. Little did I realize what I was in for...
Saturday, September 11. We were woken up by a call from Steven around..9:30ish, 10ish. (Normally I'm a stickler for remembering times when it comes to important stuff, but damned if I can remember this time. D'oh.) The Inn offered a complimentary breakfast, but he mentioned the Brits wanted to go to Cracker Barrel, which was 20 miles away (I think. Maybe less. But it was a drive, either way.). Me, I waffled since I'd just planned on bolting down some Frosted Flakes, grabbing a shower and getting ready to go. Nonetheless, Shanti and I threw on some clothes and headed outside to partake of the breakfast.
Only to be met with rain. SO not a happy camper at this point. Because I had stuff I needed to transport to my car and I didn't want it to get wet, and two I didn't want to look like a drowned rat and ruin my tiny top hat I'd bought special for this weekend. We hustled over to the breakfast area, where there were no waffles, but bagels and cereal. She took the former, I took the latter. Steven joined us at some point and as we were setting down and I had just taken hold of my milk carton to open it when in walks one of the Brits who'd crashed early last night and I hadn't met, Lee. He takes a look at our wares and says, in that lovely British accent, "What's that?" Being the smartass I was born to be, I replied, "Breakfast." Oh no, this wouldn't do at all apparently. We were told, in no uncertain terms, we were going to CB. We were hustled out of the breakfast area and, after meeting the last Brit, Rob, we discussed what to do.
I can't remember the timeline (again, sigh), but I do know that before we got to the Eagles Club proper, I got a shower and got myself looking decent. And we got CB. I hadn't been to one in a few years (despite having two in the area), so while everyone got breakfast items, I got a hamburger and fries. Nom nom nom! Someone commented, "That's not breakfast." Hah, I'm not a breakfast person 9 times out of 10. If there's an option to order non-breakfast food, I'm gonna do it.
I was really quiet at the table, which set the standard for the weekend mostly, because it still felt very surreal. Being there, talking with folks I'd only met in the past year online...and only the past week I'd waffled on going. Partly due to mom (see previous post), but partly because I'd never driven that far on my own and was putting myself in a vulnerable position. After all, who's to say there wasn't a serial killer in the group? (I kid, I didn't think that about anyone. But you get my point.) So, just the fact I'd grown ovaries and actually was sitting there, eating with everyone and trying to take it all in...yep, I was quiet. At one point, I was talking however, and Lee interrupted me by saying, "You need to talk more." I'm pretty sure I blinked before responding, so cleverly, "What?" "Your accent is lovely, you need to talk more!" I laughed and at that moment, started to feel largely more comfortable. I've been told that before actually, by a wonderful woman by the name of Raven, whom I'd met up in Madison, Wisconsin. She has a great medieval store and knows Becky & Aldous, so when they took me there and I was chatting with her, she said, "Keep talking." I looked at her funny until she said she just loved my accent.
It's relative, I realize, but it's only sometimes that I can tell I have an accent. The deeper South you go, the more the drawl is apparent. So when someone tells me they like my accent, I'm flattered - one of my worst fears is sounding like a hillbilly. Anyways, I'm chasing rabbits.
So at some point (we may've headed back to the hotel after CB, maybe not..timeline memory failure), we got to the Eagles Club. Holy ground, as it were. I should've taken my shoes off. After I (accidentally) stole the Brits' parking spot (and then did a helluva job parking my car.....), we were getting our accessories for the show when I realized...I'd left my damn tiny top hat (or TTH for short) at the hotel! Sonuvabitch! Epic failure on my part! I had two I'd ordered, one to wear for each day of the show, and this one was black and red velvet with a cheshire cat button on the front. Melanie had already warned Daffney that her uber fan from DD would be there, and without the hat I thought all was lost. Luckily this proved not the case, but I'm digressing.
Anyways, we got in line and it was really long by the time we got there. Doors were supposed to open at 1 with the main show starting at 2. Unbeknownst to us, just before the doors were supposed to open, MsChif suffered an injury (separated shoulder) and had to be rushed to the hospital. This caused the delay, and when we found out everyone was pretty disappointed. I'd looked forward to MsChif possibly getting her rematch against Madison Eagles, but I mostly just wanted to see and hear her in person. Mad props to her though, she got done at the hospital and came back to sign autos and sell merch at intermission, and was at both afterparties. She's a tough woman! So doors didn't open until between 2:30 and 3 but it was fine. We met Leslie aka JohnHyperion whilst waiting in line, which it's always nice to put a face to a name. Very cool guy, he is the go-to person for all things Indy/Joshi women.
Once we got in there, I took a moment to look around at the top of the stairs. I was here. I would be partaking of 6+ hours of women's wrestling in this club...for a moment, I thought, "So this must be what an Elvis fan feels when visiting Graceland for the first time." No exaggeration. The feeling was boosted by finding our seats - front row and apparently in view of the main camera. Not sure how I feel about that, we'll find out how much of my sillyness they caught when the DVDs come out I suppose. I sat inbetween Steven and Eric, and we got situated as the first dark match was a guys match.
Then it was time for the pre-show, SPARKLE. I believe there were two matches, and we got to see Mia Yim, 'Bonesaw' Jesse Brooks, Athena, Mena Libre, Taylor Made and Maya Svensson. All of them were impressive and it served to get the crowd ready for the main show. (Word of advice, don't ever piss Mia off. She will kick you and it will hurt. A lot.)
Then...it was time to tape Volumes 33 and 34. From start to finish, I was blown away. I know I tweeted somewhat during the show (which, I decided, I won't be doing at future shows. I thought about it later and decided it was rude and disrespectful to the women. All tweeting will wait until after the show is over.), but EVERY match was fucking awesome! Even some that weren't up to snuff by the people who'd been there before were still 10 times better than what you'd see in WWE or TNA. Each match got over 5 minutes and these women were actually hitting and kicking each other, there were no fake forearms - they went out there and wrestled and beat the hell outta each other! It was fantastic. There was genuine passion from all of the workers, they wanted to be there and gave their all in every match. No one "phoned it in" so to speak. I have such love and respect for these women, they won my absolute loyalty and devotion over the weekend. I can never be satisfied with what WWE and TNA give me ever again. It's impossible.
The schedule was that they taped Volume 33, then had a 20-30 minute intermission where the women came out and sold their merch, took pics and signed autographs, then taped Volume 34. It ended around 7 or 8, running longer due to the late start. But no one complained, we were all too absorbed in watching the matches.
I sat there, just absorbing all of it. I know I grabbed my head and winced whenever something would happen (Shanti said she could see me clearly on both days and found my expressions hilarious...God only knows what's gonna be on the DVD.), but I didn't really razz the heels until the second taping, I think, when I told Daizee Haze she sucked. This was right after she'd properly owned a guy for telling her the same. I expected her to rip into me but she said, "I suck?! You want some of this!?" I spread my hands and said I was right here, come get some, something like that, and she went easy on me, saying I wasn't worth it and going back after Ayumi. Later on I thought, "Oh crap, Daizee could've torn me apart.." This didn't stop me from opening my mouth, however.
Intermission was mind blowing. I actually got to meet Amber Gertner (who recognized me without Steven having to introduce us and gave me a hug) & Allison (she was standing on a chair in the corner, hawking her wares lols! She'd forgotten to wear the Hello Kitty necklace that I'd bought her but she had goodies for me - her 3 shoot DVDs and an AD shirt that only two people have. One being me. The other being her. I almost cried I was so touched!). I also met and bought merch & autos from Jamilia (she wore her mask, she's so dedicating to living the gimmick! Props to her!), Mia and....DAFFNEY! YES! SCORE! Steven introduced us, and she said, "Are you the person from DD..?" (referencing the tweet Melanie had sent her) and when I nodded, she pulled me in for a hug! I bought one of her newest t-shirts that had her and Schmeez on it. We chatted for a few minutes and I told her I couldn't boo her, to which she laughed. She has a hard time getting booed at SHIMMER (she plays the same psychotic heel as she does in TNA). She told me she had to be all snarly and heelish but she'd look for me.
She kept her word - when she came out to face Nevaeh on Volume 34, she walked around the ring, and when she saw me, she winked! It was so cool! She actually got up in someone's face on the other side of the ring, so I felt doubly flattered. Meeting her was one of the highlights of my weekend!
Also at the intermission, I picked up the PWWA Last Woman Standing (Australia's all-women's promotion) DVD and the "Joshi 4 Hope Tour" t-shirt that had Tomoka Nakagawa, Misaki Ohata and Ayumi Kurihara on the front. It's such a cute shirt! All of the Joshi women (including Ayako Hamada) were a pure pleasure to watch in the ring. They're all sticks of dynamite, small but powerful. I can't even remember all the matches, but I do remember I fell quite hard for Cat Power, telling Eric that he should marry us. Leva Bates is also a standout, mainly because she puts such effort into her outfits and takes pride in being a geek. OH and during Volume 34, Cheerleader Melissa vs Tomoka Nakagawa, Melissa slammed Tomoka headfirst into the guardrail right infront of us! It was sick but fucking awesome!
OH and one of the best parts was Serena Deeb making her return to SHIMMER in response to an open challenge from Kellie Skater!! Skater was in the ring, jaw jacking as usual, and all of the sudden Serena was there, standing behind her!!! The crowd went NUTS, I was jumping up and down like a jack rabbit on crack, the moment was electric! And during intermission, I actually got a photo & autograph with her. That woman is too sweet and humble for words. You'd think she might be a little angry at what happened, but just the opposite. Nothing but good words for the WWE and her time there. It's mind blowing just how gracious she was to the fans. She was really happy and excited to be back - and we loved having her back!
After the show was over, around 7 or 8 p.m., I picked up my Highspots order which came to around $400..well worth it, and I grabbed the 2 Manami Toyota Volumes that had just come available. Score! We gathered outside and made our way back to the cars...whereupon I discovered just how badly I'd parked. Truly my worst parking job, ever. It looked exactly how Lee had said, like it was abandoned, not parked. It was hilarious! After a quick jaunt to the hotel where I grabbed the things I'd forgotten earlier, including my TTH, we went to the afterparty location, 39Ten.
Compared to Sunday night, Saturday night's afterparty was tame. There was (crappy) music but everyone mostly ate, hung out and relaxed. I passed out the Lush gifts that Melanie had bought for the girls, I gave out the few items I'd bought, then just mingled. I saw Daffney outside and she LOVED my TTH! So much so that she had Steven take a pic of us using her phone and tweeted it out right then and there! Freaking. Awesome. She asked me why I liked her so much, I told her it's because she was unique. Her character is different. She's not another cookie cutter blonde. She can wrestle, she can cut a promo, and she's stayed true to her gimmick, not comformed to anyone's standards. She was really touched and I found out the next day that she followed me on twitter - double score! Daffney's an incredibly sweet woman, I'm so lucky I got to meet her!
That night is mostly a blur..I stuck mainly to Steven for the most part, and just kinda took it all in. We met up with Mia, Jamilia and Bonesaw and talked with them, I met Kellie Skater (who also recognized me from twitter...*floored*) and gave her the Fruity Pebbles I'd bought her. Towards the end, me and Eric bought some food and sat at a table near the front. There were still a few people there but it was winding down at that point. After awhile, everyone came over and congregated around us (everyone being the Brits, Shanti, Steven & Leslie). I was asked if I was alright, I seemed kinda down. I wasn't, it was still very surreal being there y'know? I was just taking it all in, observing while trying to not be creepy. I had a feeling that they were trying to look out for me, which I appreciated. I was very blessed to have found such good people to be friends with. That weekend I was never alone for long, they all made sure I had fun and was comfortable. My trust was infinitely validated that weekend.
We headed back to the hotel whilst the Brits tried their luck at finding a KFC (I'm not sure what they really came to Berwyn for, the wrestling or the food lol!). We hung out in Eric & Steven's room, comparing merch, surfing the 'net and just relaxed. I tweeted a bit about my experience (should've opened TwitLonger but my brain wasn't functioning). I'm not sure when Shanti and I crashed...maybe around 3 a.m. again. Saturday had been a blast. I had no idea Sunday would be even better, for several different reasons.
Sunday September 12th. Today was taping for Volumes 35 and 36. We got up around 10-10:30ish, dressed and went to a place called "The Moondance Diner." I'm not sure what got us more stares, the fact we were a multi-racial group, a multi-national group, or the fact that me, Eric, Steven and Shanti were wearing Power Rangers t-shirts. Probably all three options. One of the options on the menu was "The Legal Alien"....yeah, that's not offensive at all. Sheesh. The food wasn't even that good either.
I'd bought new fashions for this weekend. Saturday I sported my first Hello Kitty t-shirt (which got plenty of compliments) at the show then another new shirt for the afterparty. Sunday for the show I wore my Red Power Rangers shirt with black capri pants, my black & red TTH, and black tennis shoes that were actually platforms, making me a few inches taller. Apparently these shoes were fascinating as Lee had to take a picture of them. Needless to say, I was one of the best dressed people at Shimmer that weekend.
After eating, we made our way to the Eagles Club once more. The doors were to open at noon, the proper show starting at 1. They opened a little late but it wasn't as long as Saturday's wait. MsChif was there again, selling her merch - tough woman. Once we got in, lucky for me, I noticed Hamada herself in the corner, selling pictures and trading cards of her. I got a signed card and a pic with her - sweet! No line at all, I made out like a bandit.
Oh, before we got there, we made a stop at a Walgreens. We wanted to make signs but weren't sure what to write. Steven had a BRILLIANT idea - buy a white dry erase board! This sign would come in very handy through the day...
As before, the matches Sunday were phenominal. I continued to be amazed at the skill level of these women. There wasn't a bad match in my opinion (as someone pointed out, I could find a silver lining in a mushroom cloud hah!). Fortunately, my wit was on point as I came up with several things to put on the white board that got the girls' attention. For Allison Danger's match with Veronika Vice, I wrote a slogan she's fond of saying: "Own It, Tim Gunn It." She saw it at the end and actually got someone to hand her the board so she could put it in Veronika's face! I laughed so hard...and then Allison tossed it back to me and almost took my head off. Fortunately someone behind me caught it and gave it back. Allison looked horrified! It was too funny, would've been even funnier had she actually hit me! There's a picture of her holding the sign...epic win right there.
Skater had two matches, one on each volume, so my first sign for her was "Not So Rate Tank" - she erased the "Not So" part, hah. The second was "Wolverine Fears Rate Tank" which she wholly approved of. The Canadian Ninjas faced off against Jesse McKay and Tenille (both Australians), so I wrote "Aussies > Ninjas"...when Nicole saw that, she erased it and made it so it said "Aussies less than Ninjas", hah!
At intermission, I collected autographs from Daffney, Skater, Cheerleader Melissa, Ariel & Nikki Roxx. Cat Power was selling some of her old gear, the purple and black attire (no mask though, I was disappointed to find out later), so I bought it and she autographed it for me! Note to self, I still need to try that on, even though it'll give me a complex. Anyways, Eric was sweet enough to buy me an autographed photo of her! That woman is too beautiful.
Volume 36 ended with an 8 woman tag match that was labeled the "SHIMvivor Series" since it was an elimination match. Ayumi, Hamada, Melissa and Serena vs Madison, Nakagawa, Daizee and Sara Del Rey. This match has to be seen to be believed. It was un-fucking-real! At one point, Hamada photo bombed three of the women who were in the ring and Melissa broke character and laughed! If anything, this weekend highlighted just how poorly TNA is using Hamada. She has talent but she also has a great sense of humor. A tremendous match which had the whole locker room watching from the back of the club.
Once the show ended, I scored the best piece of memorabilia. Tomoka Nakagawa carries a bottle of water to the ring and if her match is going wrong, she'll spit water into her opponent's face. Same happened at the SHIMvivor Series match and the water got knocked out to the floor. After the show, I was chatting with one of the photographers, "Wrestling Wally." Very nice guy and at one point, i asked him innocently if he could hand me the bottle of water.
He did. So now, a still half way full bottle of Nakagawa's water is sitting on my bookshelf. This is a clear win for me. *Is proud*
Onto the afterparty! Eric and I needed to visit the ATM so at the Shell station across the street, I took the opportunity to change tops (switched to a tiger striped patterned silky blouse and my matching tiger striped TTH). When we got into the club...oh man. It started out relatively calm, folks mainly eating and discussing the shows. I took the opportunity to hand out the last of the gifts. After the food was done, the tables were cleared away and the DJ set up. Allison had to vacate the SHIMMER Dance Off title, so Steven held it until Skater jacked it and didn't take it off the whole night! It's now at her place in Australia, but she'll have to defend it next year!
I caught up with Daffney and gave her a pair of black cat earrings and my black and red TTH. She was so cool, Steven asked her to do a video for DD and she asked me to be in it with her! A copy of this video is now in my greedy possession..Daffney has a heart of gold. Due to her not feeling too well (and still being concussed), her and MsChif didn't hang around for too long.
I got a chance to chat with Daizee, complimenting her on her matches and how much she's done to improve women's wrestling. In a non-creeper way, I told her how awesome her body was and how much I respected her work. Fortunately she didn't think me creepy, heh, but was flattered instead. I've liked Daizee ever since I came across one of her matches online. She's so small but has spent so much time and effort becoming one of the best in North America, it's hard NOT to be impressed by her.
Also outside, Steven and I hung out with Mia, Jamilia and Bonesaw again, and we saw the three go through about 7 outtakes, trying to shoot a video which featured Jamilia and Mia talking, then Jesse coming in and staring them down. She kept bursting into giggles everytime though! It was so cute but funny as hell! Serena did a mini-interview, which had to be re-done thanks to Joey Eastman acting up in the background. Serena had NO idea anything was going on..inappropriate as all get out, but hilarious! I talked with Serena and asked her if she had any plans on coming back to OVW. She said she'd like to, not to stay of course, but to work some matches. She knew exactly where I lived and when she told me where she'd lived in Louisville 4 years ago, I knew exactly where she'd lived - 10 minutes away from me! I died a little inside at that point, realizing just how close she'd been. Ah well, you live and learn right? Meanwhile, inside the club, the party was in full swing with the music and dancing and drinking. I was one of the few people completely sober, hah.
Standout moments were:
-Athena, Jessica James and Leva Bates tore up the dance floor. Those three are serious contenders for the Dance Off title belt.
-Melissa got a lap dance from Leva (O.o)
-Melissa was dancing inbetween Shanti and Steven, and actually had Steven bent over...!
-I tried a blue drink called a "Blue Motherfucker"...tasted, as all alcoholic drinks do, like hairspray. This was the drink of choice that night. Although I tried a drink Eric was having, an Amaretto Sour, which tasted pretty good. Kinda like cherries. So I know what to order next time.
-Apparently everyone and their mother knew that Australians can drink. In particular, Kellie Skater, Jesse McKay and Madison Eagles held their liquor and partied with the best of them. I was highly impressed!
-Skater stole Jessica James' cowboy hat and wore it most of the night. When she saw me, she tried on my TTH and I tried on the cowboy hat. Damn me for not pulling out my camera and snapping a pic, she looked cute!
I danced a little, but not too much, despite Steven and Lee's attempts to get me onto the dance floor. I was mostly taking it all in, but after seeing the three aforementioned women dancing, I realized...I had no skills. And I was too stuffy to just get out there and have fun. (Which is why, next time, I may not get drunk...but I will have something to drink to loosen up.) At some point, however, the music was getting to me (the DJ had a habit of putting every song in "fast forward" so to speak, and it was annoying), so I stepped outside and actually sat in my car until my ears stopped ringing. It was around..hell, I have no idea of the time. But I hadn't spoken to mom all day so I called her just to check in and tell her what an awesome time I was having. I didn't speak to her too long, so when I hung up I just enjoyed the silence for a few minutes.
My ears stopped ringing, and I was getting my second wind when I heard someone say, "I know she is not in that car.." I looked up and saw Lee heading for my car. I'd been found out! He asked what I was doing, so I told him. "So, is your mum okay? Everything okay at home? Are you okay? Right, come on, I'm buying you a drink." Hah, I know when not to argue, so he took my hand and we went back into 39Ten. I admitted I was a bit uncomfortable, seemingly being one of the few sober people in the place. When he said he was making an effort to be soberish for my sake, I was touched. Later on, he said he remembered the first time the Brits had gone to an afterparty. They didn't know anyone and left early, so he was looking out for me to make sure I had fun. I appreciated this. And I was having fun, it was just a tad bit overwhelming.
To me, it was like partying with rockstars. But you'd never be able to do this with, say, Cena, Orton, Melina or Natalya (no matter how friendly they are outside the company). But I was getting used to the idea that these women had no airs about them. They were like everyone else - just wanted to relax and have a good time. This took some getting used to.
Anyhoo, Lee and I sat at the bar. We ordered Pepsi's, only because there were no coke products available...one of the minor fails of the evening, but ah well. We chatted a bit, and he asked if I was having fun, which I was, and if there was anything else that I wanted to do to make the experience complete. I wanted to get a pic of myself with Skater (that fell by the wayside, but no biggie), and I wanted Mercedes to chop me. I'd actually went and gotten permission from Dave Prazak himself since there was a ban on chopping (he probably thought I was stark raving mad, but I pleaded my case that it would make the weekend perfect so he relented), and Mercedes herself said to wait until more people cleared out and she'd think about it...but unfortunately she slipped by me. Damn! There's always next time...my quest to be properly chopped isn't over yet. Lee also thought I was mad, but I've never claimed otherwise so there you go. *Laugh*
Nonetheless, I can't recall exactly what we talked about after that. I believe he complimented me on how cute I looked. He was looking at me with a pecular look on his face...thats about when he leaned in and kissed me. Then he drew back and kissed me again.
You could've knocked me over with a feather. I mean, granted I'd thought he was cute when I saw him for the first time on Saturday, and his wit was sharp and very funny, but I certainly hadn't expected anything like that. I hadn't even thought about it! There were a few moments when Shanti, Eric, Steven and I were in the car and they'd teased me (I found out much later that, apparently, everyone else saw this 'spark' between us...yet we hadn't. Odd.), but I never would've thought of making any kind of move. Firstly because I'm too shy, that's always been my curse. Secondly...well, he lives in Great Britain. Not exactly smart to get too involved with someone from another country. Then again, there's moments when I'm not too bright heh. Nonetheless..I liked it. He was gentle and his lips were very soft. I felt lightheaded so I excused myself to go outside for a breath of fresh air and clear my head.
Because, I'll be honest, in a moment I had a bit of turmoil going on inside. You see, that was the first kiss I'd had, for the most part, since October 2003. Meaning, the last person I'd really kissed was Andrew. And that night, like almost every day since I got it, I was wearing his half of our necklace. Almost immediately my brain went into overdrive with guilt. I felt like I was betraying him and I felt like I'd acted improperly. Me, kissing a guy in a bar? Scandalous! Inappropriate! As strange as it may sound to anyone else, to me..it didn't seem proper. So I panicked. I almost drove back to the hotel, but I didn't go that far.
Instead, I hid out until the club had emptied out, then rejoined everyone for the ride back to the hotel. And between then and getting back to the hotel & going to my room to change shoes, I did some serious thinking. I realized, first, I had no reason to feel guilty or feel like I'd betrayed Andrew. I know him well enough that he'd never want me to think I didn't deserve to be happy. He wouldn't want me to be alone forever (because, since he'd died in 2008, I'd had that thought periodically). As a consequence, I took off the necklace and packed it in my bag. Secondly, I realized that no reason to feel like I'd acted inappropriately. This was more than likely the leftover tracings of the strict morality that'd been ingrained in me when I went to Highview Baptist. I'd done nothing wrong. And no one was going to think any less of me, not Lee, nor anyone else. Besides, it'd been a one time thing. I'd already missed out on things that had happened at the afterparty due to my hangups. I wasn't about to isolate myself on my last night with my friends. So once I had my usual comfy shoes (those black platform sneakers were a relief to get off after wearing them all day!), I grabbed my bag of snacks and headed back over to Eric & Steven's room, where we'd once again congregated.
Some of us had the munchies (for my part, I hadn't eaten since the Moondance Diner, but strangely enough I didn't feel hungry at all), so myself, Eric, Steven, Shanti and Lee headed down to the Super America and grabbed some snacks and drinks. I bought myself and Lee a coke to make up for the lack of coke products at 39Ten and it's a real good thing I'd changed shoes. The mini mart wasn't far by any stretch, but had I tried to make it in my platforms, I would've had to been carried back. (Note to self: next SHIMMER show, those shoes are staying home.)
The night air felt really good, aside from it raining for a short while Saturday morning, the weather had been pretty much perfect. Plus my allergies hadn't acted up one bit. By the time we got back, Stew, Steve and Rob had gotten back from dropping Mena Libre off at her hotel. We gathered back in E & S's room and basically crashed. Those of us who had computers or internet on their phones tweeted a bit or posted, I borrowed Eric's laptop and sent out more gushy tweets. After I passed it on, I got out my phone to check something - and promptly had it hijacked by Lee, who proceeded to look through my text messages and the misc. photos I had on there. Nosy! Then he put it in his pocket, the audacity of it all! I tried to take his phone in return but couldn't find it.
At that point he realized he'd forgotten his rucksack (backpack) in the van, and it had protective envelopes that held mine, his and Eric's autographed photos. He said he was going to go get it and asked if I wanted to come with him. Like I said, it was nice weather so I said sure. We'd be back in a few minutes tops. At least, that's what we thought...
We circled around to the side of the Inn where the cars were parked. After he got his rucksack from the trunk, he asked me if I'd like to sit out on the patio and talk. (There was an outside staircase that led up to where one of the suites was and there was a nice sized patio with chairs and a table situated.) That was fine by me, considering the weather was nice. When we sat down, I looked up and realized there were no clouds. You could see plenty of stars, and at one point I pointed out Orion. I can always tell that one by the belt, heh. It was quiet too, no wind and just the occassional car going by. We chatted about the weekend, the shows and how much fun it had been. He mentioned that he was still holding my phone hostage. I laughed and asked him what kind of ransom he was looking for. Because if it was cash, then it looked like my phone was heading overseas. (I'd spent about $700 that weekend in merch...*cough*...)
Fortunately it wasn't cash. He kissed me for a moment, but considering we were in two clunky lawn chairs sitting side by side, it wasn't the most comfortable position. So I sat in his lap, and thats where we stayed, just talking and relaxing. I told him a few things about myself I don't necessarily share with people I've, for the most part, just met. It was strange - I was totally comfortable with him, and also with myself. The hesitation and anxiety I'd felt earlier were gone. It was as if a weight was off my shoulders. And I thought, yeah, I know I'm leaving the next day and I was crazy...I didn't care though. I felt a connection with him, the things I shared with him he took to heart and didn't think they, or I, were silly or dismissive. I was seizing the moment that night. To hell with tomorrow.
And to hell with what anyone else was thinking. A couple of times, Lee mentioned that we were probably being discussed by the people we'd left behind. My response was, simply, "Let them." (Of course, I found out later that we'd been talked about a lot. A huge lot. Silly geese!) I would've been quite content to stay there the whole night. Unfortunately after my phone rang twice in a row, I had to answer it. Shanti had to get up at 7 a.m. for an 8 a.m. flight and I had the key card. I checked the time.
It was 4 a.m. We'd been outside for a good 3 hours. Talk about losing track of time! But I didn't regret the time I spent in his arms. On the contrary, this was just about the perfect way to end the weekend. It felt right somehow. Rather reluctantly we made our way back around to the main buildings, holding hands. Waiting outside were Shanti, Eric and Steven, who promptly started clapping when they saw us. I chalked it up to the fact they'd been drinking, hah. Checkout time was 11 a.m., so Shanti and I packed up and hit the hay around 5 a.m. She woke me up before she left to say goodbye.
Monday September 13th...
Next thing I know, the hotel's calling me asking if I need a few more minutes. That was putting it mildly. I managed to throw on some clothes, put the other things away that I hadn't the night before, get my hair situated and start loading things into the car. I checked out and handed back my keycards once I was sure I hadn't left anything behind. (I can get slightly paranoid that I've left something behind. Fortunately that didn't happen this time.) Along the way, Lee came out and helped me get everything squared away.
It turned out Steven and Eric didn't have to leave until 4 p.m., when their cab would arrive to take them to the airport. Now, my parents were fully expecting me to be on the road by now. However, I don't have a job that I had to be back for, so I thought, "What the hell?" We all (us three and the Brits) decided to head to Hooters for lunch. To everyone's credit, they all looked decent, despite having partied heavily the night before. Such troopers!
My TTH was still in the front of my car where I'd left it the night before. So I decided to wear it into the Hooters - why not? Besides that, Lee had mentioned he thought I'd looked very cute in it, so I slipped it on and got out of the car. His response? "You are seriously going to go into Hooters wearing your hat? That's tremendous!" Hah, and I even got a compliment from another diner! (That hat now has a place of honor, hanging off my dresser mirror in my room.) We all took some photos (that was another thing, I hadn't taken nearly as many as I should've, d'oh), and praise the Lord, they had Coke, not Pepsi. I tried buffalo wings for the first time...not bad. I picked mild sause fortunately.
After that, we headed to 7-11 at my request, because I wanted to try a Coke Slurpee. We don't have 7-11's in Kentucky (how stupid is that?!), and I wasn't leaving this state without trying one. I bought one for myself and one for Lee and, hesitantly, tried it. Pretty good! But now if I really want one, I have to go up into Indiana to get it. Sigh. My state is so behind. After that, back to the hotel, where we hung out in Rob and Lee's room, where most of us were on our phones heh. The Brits mentioned they were going to take Rob to the Sears Tower later that day since he hadn't been there before. And yes, I know it's not the Sears Tower anymore, but I can't be fussed to learn the new name.
All too soon the cab pulled up for Steven and Eric. I got a nice picture of myself with them and sent them off with a hug. Once they drove off, I had to make myself leave so I wouldn't hold up the guys. Lee wanted a picture with me, so Steve took two with both of our cameras. I went back inside the room just to make sure I hadn't left anything, then after hugging everyone goodbye, Lee wanted me to my car. We kissed each other goodbye and, after a long hug and him telling me to be safe, I got in the car, programmed my GPS for the house (which took a stupidly long time, sheesh), and backed out. I blew him a kiss, which he returned, and he watched me drive off until I turned the corner and was out of sight. That gesture really moved me.
To my credit, I didn't start crying until I was a few miles away and on the highway towards Indiana. And even then, it wasn't very much, and it wasn't sad tears. Rather, it was because I was truly happy...happier than I had been in a long, long time. My first road trip had been a complete success. I got home about 11:30p.m. and only stopped once to eat. No accidents, no getting lost or turned around. I had met an amazing group of people, seen over 15 hours of the best female wrestling I'd ever seen in my life, and found a connection with someone - the last item being something I hadn't even been looking for. One of life's little curveballs, methinks. But hey, nothing's ever been simple when it concerns my relationships. This isn't any different - infact, I'm used to it. But I'm also capable of great patience. So we'll see what happens.
So that's my adventure. Here's a link to my Flickr account, where I put all my pics (including pics & descriptions of all the merch I bought): http://www.flickr.com/photos/34197939@N04/
I'm eagerly looking forward to the next SHIMMER show. I'll be there, no matter what steps I have to take to get the cash together. That's the thing, once you go to a taping, you won't want to miss another one! My love and thanks to everyone who looked out for me and helped me have the best time. Truly this was one of the best experiences of my life!
