Now that I've taken a look back at 2010, I'm looking forward to 2011. New year usually calls for resolutions, but lets be honest: how many people keep their resolutions? Not many, myself included. No, I'm not going with any concrete resolutions (i.e. lose weight, draw back on the soft drinks, etc.). Instead, I'm going to jot down a few personal 'pledges' or goals if you like. Abstract goals, things I need to work on to improve myself as a person.
1) Think before I speak. Especially as it concerns online. I always have the power to erase words before I click the 'send' button. I need to exercise this because a good friend once told me that you can apologise but the words are still out there; they've still been said. That goes for all areas of life, online and off. If I'm angry or upset, I need to remove myself from the situation, no matter where I am, until I'm calm enough to respond. Debate my words carefully before responding or speaking. I won't censor myself, but at the same time, there's a time, a place and a way to say things - I'm mature enough at 28 to know this.
2) Seek out the good in every person or opportunity. I've always been a more optimistic than pessimistic person, and it's easy for me to see the good parts in people, but not in places/situations/opportunities. I need to correct this, because although it might come off as naive, there should always be a way to turn oranges into orange juice. (I prefer oranges to lemons.)
3) Be more positive. Speak more encouraging words, look on the brighter side of things; basically try to limit the negativity. The world has enough of that, I don't need to continue to contribute to it. I want to be a source for kind words, love and compassion. Which leads me into my next goal..
4) Have and show more compassion, empathy, sympathy and understanding for others. I need to always remember to put myself in other people's shoes and realise where they've been and what they're going through. They need a hand up rather than someone shoving them back down. There's always more to the story than I know, I need to remember this.
5) Make myself available to friends and family whenever they need help, advice or just someone to rant to. God knows I would never have made it without the great people in my life. I want to return the favour. I'll make myself available for them, no matter what time it is or what I have going on at the moment. I want to be a better friend, sister, aunt and daughter.
Only 5 pledges but that's enough I daresay. Nothing concrete like I said, but at the same time these are harder than any standard resolution. Bottom line is I want to be a better person, better than the woman I was in 2010. Achieving these goals will be a good first step - I need to take it one day at a time.
"You must be the change you want to see in the world." -Gandhi.
Post script: After writing this and reflecting on the events of the past six months, I do realise how horridly hypocritical I'm coming off. I hesitate to share this blog post as a consequence. But on the other hand, I want to be held accountable to these pledges I'm making. I can only do that by sharing this as a result. So I apologise for how this sounds, but I'm being fully honest and sincere. I want to be a better person, someone that people enjoy being around and trusting with their friendship. Following through on these pledges will (hopefully) create a better me. All I can do is try.
